Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Experts reveal that THIS diet can reduce heart disease risk - Times of India

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I can count

I can read

When does a woman know she is cumming?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Do all rocket engines emit harmful gases into the atmosphere during launch?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Why did Donald Trump and Melania Trump sleep in different rooms?

I have a reading level above third grade

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I see through liars

Steelers TE wants no part of Jonnu Smith trade - Behind the Steel Curtain

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Is the water safe to drink in England like here in America or is it necessary to bring tablets to prevent any cholera when in London?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Utah health officials monitoring potential measles exposure in southwestern Utah - KSL.com

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

What Wilson said about Logan Gilbert’s second rehab start - Seattle Sports

I don’t buy bullshit

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Scientists Uncover Giant Spiders That Once Terrorized Jurassic Earth - The Daily Galaxy

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

What are the most shocking facts about the Bollywood industry?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I actually pay taxes

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I have complete contempt for fakery

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”